Some Things Are Only Natural
by sodapop765
Summary: People Under the Stairs. Something are only natural for Roach. Escaping and living his life again is no exception. AU.
1. Prolouge: Life is only natural

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

It was only natural that David Mathias Cullen, named for his father and father's father, would be interested in Amanda Loretta Delgado. He was fifteen and she was fourteen when they met and two months later she was pregnant. It was only natural that they'd be upset and even more natural that he'd make a run for it. It was only natural for his father to follow him to Missouri and drag him back. It was only natural for her catholic parents to demand that she keep the child and marry him. So in 1975 at the tender ages of fifteen and sixteen they were married.

It was only natural for them to move into David's attic with their newborn Belladonna Marie Cullen. It was also only natural for Amanda to drop out as soon as possible; she didn't like school much anyway. So it went like that, she waitressed and he worked for his father after school and weekends.

It was only natural for their little family to grow. After Only one year of marriage their son David Mathias Cullen, named for his father, father's father, and father's father's father was born. He looked like his father and cried like his mother. It was only natural that his sister would be jealous. It took years for that jealousy to leave her.

It was only natural that in 1978, after three years of marriage they'd move into their own place. It was also only natural that their place would be very poor, above a bowling alley facing a brick wall, but it was theirs. It was also only natural that both of their parents would work long hours in the bowling alley to support their home.

It was only natural that their little family would grow again. In late 1980, after the announcement of Amanda's third pregnancy that they would move back into David's parents' house, it was only natural that they couldn't support all of those people in such a tiny space. It was only natural that she would be resentful of everything and everybody. It was only natural that she would get sloppy.

It was only natural for small children to get jealous, they were six and five after all. It was also only natural for them to want attention even if their mother, now bigger than normal and very moody, wouldn't give it to them. It was only natural, therefore, for them to act out. Mommy did nothing but get upset, grammy and grampy didn't seemed to like them very much, and father was always very tired.

It was only natural for Amanda to want to get out of the house on the fateful summer's day in 1981. It was only natural that she would be a bit distracted, having two new babies to take care of after all, so her children played unsupervised in the park.

It was only natural for Elmira Elsie Robeson to want children. All of the one's her husband produced were evil and had to be either fixed or killed. The last one she kidnapped had to have his eyes AND tongue cut out. She walked through the park looking for a good little boy and girl. She found the two little dears playing unsupervised in the park. It was only natural to try and save them.

It was only natural for Belladonna, now known as Donna, to be weary of this strange woman who came offering candy. It was only natural for the six year old to run off and get her mother. And, being six after all, it was only natural to forget her little brother. She was only six years old.

It was only natural for David to want candy; his family often couldn't afford it. It was also natural to go with the woman promising lots of candy and toys, he was five after all. It was only natural that he would follow the pied piper into the gates of hell.

It was only natural for him to want to go home. He hated this new family, these weren't his parents. It was only natural for Eldon and Elmira Robeson to discipline him just as they had the others. After none of it worked they showed him exactly what would happen if he wasn't good. He barely misbehaved for years. The girl they took was a year younger than him and much better.

It was only natural for the two of them to grow up, as children tended to do. David got older, bigger, stronger. He hated the life he was he led and vowed to get back to the faint memory of the people he used to call his family. It was also only natural for him to want the girl, Alice.

It was only natural, normal even, for thirteen year old David to want Alice. He also knew that to the Robeson's it was wrong these feeling were wrong. He kept them to himself, often thinking of her. It was just vague impressions at first, often centering around the feel of him on top of her and the way her chest was now beginning to push against her dress.

It was only natural for David, fourteen and becoming a man, to decide that he wasn't going to take it. He called for help one day and was given the penultimate punishment; his tongue was cut out and he was put in the cellar. It was only natural for this to make him hate the Robeson's even more. It was also only natural for him to make friends; Messenger, Headbanger, and the leader Bites, and enemies; everyone else.

It was natural for Bites to take him as his own, he was over thirty and very weak. He needed somebody strong to protect him from the others that vied for his power; mostly Stairmaster and Witch. He made friends with David, never made love to him as he did to others, and soon taught him all that he knew.

It was only natural for David to learn what making love was, the People Under the Stairs did often for pleasure and dominance. It was also only natural for him to learn that Daddy was going to do that to Alice and she would be sent to the cellar. Girls didn't live very long in the cellar, they died after the first baby usually. He would never let that happen to Alice, from him or anybody else.

It was only natural for him to pull the trigger when he heard Alice's screams. He shot Daddy twice in the back; Bites had taught him all the secrets of the walls. He shot Daddy and scared him so bad he never tried to hurt Alice again. It was only natural for Alice to be happy that he was alive and had saved her from things she wasn't sure of. Therefore she, completely naked, hugged him. It was only natural for him to have a physical, instinctual reacting to this. He held her, thrush into her, and left as quickly as he had come. He spent almost two days in his sticky clothes hating himself. That was why he took the name Roach. He was an insect, vermin. He hated himself almost as much as he hated Mommy and Daddy.

It was only natural for him to be a target for Stairmaster, otherwise known as Andrew Robeson having forgotten his middle name but being pretty sure it began with an A. He knew this new boy was a virgin, he liked that. One day while this new boy was sleeping he crawled next to him and kissed him. He so wanted to jam his tongue down the other boy's throat but both of them were tongueless. It was only natural that Roach would fight and it was only natural that he would lose to the older, stronger boy. Roach cried as he was kissed, touched, thrusted into. His tears dried in the morning with Stairmaster's seed.

It was only natural that Bites would die. He was thirty two, the same age as Roach's father, when he died. Roach was surprised to see that their first names were so close; Daniel and David. David and Goliath. It was only natural that those who wanted the position would fight for it. What wasn't natural, whoever, was that Frederick then called Twig for his lack of girth, won. He only one because Stairmaster's trick, Rateyes tried to help him. Boss was completely blind, completely inept to rule, and for some odd reason completely in love with the eunuch Scribe.

It was only natural that Boss, blind as he was, would be paranoid. He knew that he inherited Roach and he knew that roach was taller and more muscular then him. It was only natural that he would in list the help of his love, Scribe, for advice. It was only natural that Timothy Thomas, now known as Scribe, would advise Boss to make Roach the thing between the walls.

It was only natural that Headbanger would get pregnant, he had seen her be with many people after all. He knew either she or the baby would die but it didn't sadden him. He had seen enough death in his fifteen years not to care anymore. He sometimes thought of her, or Alice, at the strangest of times. He found that whenever Stairmaster or Boss visited him in the room he had made between the walls, it was almost enjoyable when he thought of them. He felt filthy afterwards and was grateful that Alice didn't know. Messenger said that Roach was lucky, having spent his entire life in the cellar he knew how terrible it could have been.

It was only natural that they'd get out eventually. It was only natural that someone like Fool came into their lives and it was only natural that he left after neither he or Alice would leave out of fear. It was only natural that they would think he was gone forever and they'd be killed. It was only natural that Roach would try and hide Alice in the walls. Witch agreed to hide them if roach would do something with him. It was only natural that Alice didn't know what was happening behind her, only having gasps, grunts, and the creaking of bedsprings to go by. Alice assumed that Witch, who was oddly enough a boy, and Roach had been fighting. Roach must have lost, she decided judging by the red marks on his neck and the tears in his eyes, and she was afraid that they couldn't hide there. Witch said that it was fine and the Roach was a very good friend. It was only natural that she would be confused as Witch buttoned his pants and kissed Roach on the forehead. Roach held Alice and cried as Daddy tore through the hose. He was so loud that nobody heard the police at the door.

It was only natural that the police would come after a boy ran to the station, shot, and screaming about the Robeson family. They were going to take him to the hospital and then to lock up until they heard them mention a name every police officer new well, David Mathias Cullen. Amanda and David Sr. had been pestering the police for years. It was only natural that in ten years they would think that he had died and closed the case. It only natural that they would open the case and send officers, especially after the reports of gunshots and yelling.

It was only natural that the Robeson's would get sloppy after all those years. Not only had they forgotten the window that Witch used to get in and out but they had forgotten to lock the door. Witch left out the back door, the pool of water was being drained, and he had run into the police. It was only natural that when asked who we was he would use his given name, Witch, before his outsider name, Maxwell forgotten middle name Howards. He had run away into the walls on accident when he was a little boy and he was thought by the Robeson's to be dead.

It was only natural that, after getting word of two missing people, the police would pull out all the stops. They surrounded the perimeter after Witch told them about Mommy and Daddy. It was only natural for Mommy, the sane one, to come out with her hands up. It was only natural for Daddy, the more unhinged of the two, to come out in full leather, guns blazing. He was shot in the leg and went down.

It was only natural that they would escape and that's where out story begins.


	2. Hospital

Disclaimer: I own nothing

"Donna, change channel." Said Morgan as he sat with his family in the living room. He was ten years old; he had no interest in his older sister's boring show.

"When you get here first you can watch whatever you want to watch." Said Donna. She was sixteen, she had no interest in whatever cartoon he wanted to put on.

"That's not fair!' whined Morgan

"Seems fair to me." Said his twin Trysta

"Me too." Said Dot. Being five she didn't much like Donna's show but she liked being on the winning side.

"When you steal cable from the neighbors then you kids can decide what to watch." Said David Mathias Cullen Sr. as he flipped to the game ignoring the protests of his kids. Amanda Cullen rolled her chocolate brown eyes and answered the phone. That was the last thing she remembered before she fainted.

"Mom!" screamed the kids at once. They began to shake her and pour water on her. David Sr. picked up the phone to call nine one-one. He listened intently at what the person on the other end of the line was saying before he started to cry.

"Well, I guess we're orphans now." Said Dot. Everyone shot her a dirty look.

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Mary-Ann O'Dell cursed under her breath as she scoured the fat from her pan. The phone rang but unfortunately she was elbow deep in suds.

"Debbie get the phone!" yelled Mary-Ann

"Can't, TV." Said Debbie as she flipped through her magazine and turned the TV up louder. Mary-Ann gave a frustrated sigh and took off her gloves.

"Could you keep it down?" said Debbie. Her mother was yelling at someone over the phone; probably Dad.

"Debbie get you coat we're going to the hospital." Said Mary-Ann turning the TV off. Now Debbie was worried.

"What happened to Dad?" asked Debbie as she debated whether or not to wear her jean jacket with the blue mini dress.

"No, not dad." Said Mary-Ann getting her keys from her purse

"Oh my God, Grandma?!" said Debbie. Grandmother O'Dell had suffered a stroke earlier that year.

"No, your sister, Alice."

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Fool was having the worst birthday of his life. He saw Spencer and Leroy die, saw Roach get shot, and got dragged into the pits of hell. He was sitting in the hospital next Alice as Roach was rushed into surgery. Two cops were next to them and Alice was sitting as close to him and she could. She had been crying intermittently and now was making small whimpering sounds.

"Where's my son?!" yelled a woman as she ran through the corridor with her family in tow.

"Mommy, are you crazy?" asked a small red haired girl. She held an older kind of attractive girl's hand. If Fool hadn't been through what he had been through he would have said she was pretty. Now he was so frazzled he was seeing Roach everywhere. Alice was crying again because of the yelling.

"I asked a simple question, where is my son?! David Mathias Cullen!" yelled Amanda. David Sr. tried to shush her as a doctor approached.

"He's in the OR right now." Said a Doctor as he led the disgruntled family to some chairs. Trysta gave the boy and girl there a long suffering sigh. Her brother had been missing, most likely dead, since before she was born. This wasn't the first time they had to look at some kid or some corpse.

"You said he was shot, hoe exactly did he get shot?" asked David Sr. in a controlled voice.

"Hey Alice, is Roach Roach's real name?" whispered Fool

"David." Said Alice quietly pulling her knees to her chest. This was too much. She wanted Roach to hold and protect her. She didn't want to go back home but she didn't like this big place.

"Hey our friend got shot and he looks kinda like you." Said Fool the family turned towards him. Yup, these were Roach's family. That would mean Roach was probably kidnapped.

"How do you know my baby?" asked Amanda a little more controlled than before.

"He saved our lives." Said Fool. This caused Alice to cry into his shirt.

"What?!" said every Cullen at once before they could say anything else the doctor came back out.

"You can see him now but only for a short time." Said the Doctor. The Cullen's didn't wait to hear the rest of Fool's story. Amanda cried into David's shirt and David tried to stifle his tears. This skinny, beat up, unconscious person was the spitting image of himself at fifteen.

"That's my son." Said David Sr. quietly as the children were ushered out of the room.

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"That's my daughter!" yelled Mary-Ann as she took off in a run across the hospital. She pushed past a black family and engulfed Alice in a hug. Every muscle in Alice body tensed as this strange women hugged her.

"Mom, you're scaring her." Said Debbie. This looked like a grown up version of the baby sister she barely remembered and she looked scared. She didn't know how to react. She was happy to see her sister but she had a lot of questions that needed answering.

"I'm your mother Alice. And this is your sister." Said Mary-Ann. Alice wanted to correct this woman but she looked a lot nicer than Mommy and she needed a place to live since she wasn't going back to that house. She nodded.

"Fool! I don't need this!" were the first words out of Ruby William's mouth after some woman pushed her into the wall. She came all the way up to this hospital after hearing that her boyfriend had been killed and butchered.

"Ruby! You won't believe what happened." Said Fool his face flushed with relief

"I told you not to go messing with them people and now look what happened!" said Ruby

"Are you a relative?" asked a police officer

"Yeah, why?"

"We're not going to count him as an accomplice considering what has happened and we're going to release him to you." Said the officer. It was the one high point on Fool's birthday. He waved goodbye as Alice as she watched her mother argue with the police.


	3. Alice Goes Home

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Alice sat and looked at her shoes. Now this woman who said she was her mother was yelling at a police officer. She was scared. She wanted to go home. This was too much. She held her own hand tightly. If Roach was here he would protect her. He was dead. When you get shot you die. She put her hands over her eyes and cried.

"You OK?" asked Debbie as she saw the girl cry. So this was her sister. Honestly she had thought Alice died years ago.

"Huh?" asked Alice inching away from Debbie.

"You're crying, what's with that? I'd think you'd be happy being, like, found and stuff." Said Debbie not really sure what to say to Alice. That morning she had been stressing over a geometry test she was sure she failed and now this. She looked over at the Cullen family. The parents were alternating between crying and screaming at the police. It could have been worse.

"Who are you?" asked Alice

"I'm Debbie O'Dell and I guess I'm your sister." Said Debbie. Now her mother was calling her father at work. Joy.

"I-I want to go home." Said Alice. This wasn't an adult so she was safe. She wanted this girl to be her sister but now she was filled with anxiety. Mommy and Daddy were going to put her in the cellar for sure and Roach was dead. Roach said tat if she was put in the cellar something worse than death would happen to her. He wasn't there to protect her and even Fool went home. Maybe she was dreaming.

"Yeah me too but we're gonna be here a while I guess. " said Debbie. The next few minutes were awkward. She took notice of what her 'sister' was wearing. She looked like a doll. Debbie had a scary thought; what if Alice was kidnapped and sold into sex slavery like in that news special she saw.

"Ok Alice, the doctor needs to keep you here for a day or s for observation and then you can come back home. And now, I have a lot of people to sue." Said Mary-Ann. Alice nodded and followed the woman in the white coat, a doctor as this new woman had said, and put on a paper gown.

While Alice was being examined Roach was fighting for his life in the operating room. The surgeons had never seen anything like this. He was too thin, filthy, and covered in scars. This boy had been thorugh hell. The head surgeon gave out a small prayer when the boy stabilized.

"Thank God! Thank God!" cried Amanda as her husband rocked her back and forth. David Mathias Cullen Sr. rocked his wife back and forth and thanked God or Allah or Buddha or whoever he wasn't religious that had brought his son back to him. The kids were confused. Donna was trying not to stare at Debbie O'Dell and the girl next to her, Morgan and Trysta were fighting, and Dot was crawling around on the floor looking for change.

"I found a penny!' said Dot happy. Donna shushed her and then looked around. More people were running around and even more cops were there. She turned to the TV.

"Oh my God! Turn it up!" said Donna. Was that where her brother was all this time?

"_Eldon and Elmira Robeson were arrested earlier this evening when gunshot were reported. A child they had kidnapped had been shot and has been confirmed to be David Mathias Cullen missing since 1981. The girl with him was reported to be Alice Joy O'Dell missing since 1979. Both are now at an unnamed hospital. The boy with them had been confirmed as Poindexter Williams. His part in this is still unknown but it is suspected that he was kidnapped as well. Mutilated people have been found in the cellar and are being rushed to area hospitals…"_

Donna turned it out. So if her brother lived her was mutilate in some way. She couldn't help but think back to the happy five year old she played with. That was how she wanted her brother to exist in her mind which was why she declined seeing him. What would be the point of seeing him if he died?

Roach was groggy. He felt something in his arm and he couldn't move. He felt like he was swimming in pudding. Chocolate pudding. He liked chocolate. He found the strength to sit up and did it much too quickly.

"Davey! My baby!" said a woman. She sounded familiar and her voice made him feel warm inside. She threw her arms around him and he pushed her off. He didn't want to be touched only Alice could touch him. Alice! Where was she? The world was still fuzzy but it was becoming clearer.

"Amanda you scaring him." Said a man. He sounded familiar and his voice made him feel safe. The world was clear again. Now he knew he was dead. These were his parents.

"I thought we'd never see you again!" said Amanda a little hurt that her son had pushed her away. This was her son. This…person was her little David Jr.

"He just woke up let him breathe." Said David Sr. uncomfortably. This was his son. This was his little boy. Well, he was a little skinny, alright very skinny, and not at all healthy looking.

"(Am I dead!? If I'm dead where's Alice! I hope she dies before they can get to her! Mom! Dad! Where did you come from?! Are you dead too? Is this heaven!? Hell!?)" said Roach babbling. His parents just stared at him. He realized then that yes he was alive, this was a hospital like when he was four and had his appendix took out, and his parents were here and real. They also weren't used to his talking. His other ran from the room and her screaming could be heard. David Sr. put his head down. Thank God his children were at home. They had been warned that his tongue had been cut out but hearing him talk was another thing entirely.

Alice was given some clothes from her new old family. She was both happy and sad at the thought of never going back to Mommy and Daddy. They had raised her and they loved her. They only hurt her when they wanted her to be good. These new people said that Mommy and Daddy had stolen her from them when she was two and then hurt her. The new old people said that they would never hurt her and she wanted to believe them. This skirt was shorter and she was wearing a separate shirt like Roach wore only cleaner and pink. Roach. He was alive, the doctor told her when she asked. The girl, her sister, even knew Roach's sister. Roach used to talk about his big sister and his parents when they were little and he was still David but since his tongue was cut out he mostly talked about her. She could understand him sort of. She wanted to see him and her new real parents said she could as soon as she was better. She smiled a little as she thought of him. She liked to think of him, it made her feel warm and giggly. She didn't dare ask about this to Mommy and Daddy she knew instinctively that this was wrong. She closed her eyes, she was riding in a car to her new old house and it was making her feel sick. She had never ridden in the car before. This was too much. She had never even been outside before and it scared her. She imagined Roach next to her holding her hand telling her everything was going be ok. His other hand was rubbing her back coming closer and closer to her front. He was getting closer and closer until…the car stopped.

"We're here!" said Mary-Ann a little happier than she needed to sound. She opened the door for Alice and held her hand. Alice felt cold and clammy. This was too big and too bright. She was also nervous because she knew that she had been thinking something back about Roach. Maybe her new real mother would see her bad, sinful thoughts like Mommy could. Alice let out a sigh of relief when she entered the house. She jumped back when the door closed.

"Oh." Said Mary-Ann realization dawning on her face. She opened and closed the door a few times and let Alice do the same. Alice felt better after that. Mary-Ann showed her to her room. They had kept the room exactly the same since she was two but not upgraded everything. She had a dresser, a small TV, and a double plush bed. She even had a few dolls to play with. Mary-Ann decided to leave her alone. Alice sat on her bed and stared at the wall. So…this was her life. Just two days ago Daddy was beating her for feeding Roach and now she was in this new old house with her new old family and she wanted Roach more than anyone. He was always there for her. He kept her safe, he held her when she cried, and he protected her from Daddy.

"Roach." She said softly. She reclined in her bed and closed her eyes. She liked to do this even though it was bad of her. She liked to think of Roach and she didn't know why. She remembered when Roach would visit her right after he took a shower. She would sometimes make him new clothes to wear as best as she could. He always smelled good right after that. Usually he smelled like sweat, the inside of the house, and something that could only be described as Roach. Then he just smelled like soap and Roach. Mommy and Daddy weren't home and they were as alone as they could be. She turned around when he put his new clothes on. She almost wanted to see him naked. Why she didn't know. She and Roach laid down on her bed, he held her. He was skinny but more muscled skinny. He felt big and strong, she wanted to lay there forever. He played with her hair and held her close. He positioned himself on top of her and kissed her. It was long and lingering, she ran her hands down his back, he kissed her deeply, she wanted more.

"What?" Alice asked herself as she turned on her side. Sometimes fantasy blended with her memories. She wanted something then, something from Roach, but she didn't know what. She shook her head and went over to the dolls. She'd see Roach again, they told her and they seemed nice. She couldn't wait.


	4. Roach's family

Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

A/N: Character ages; Donna is sixteen, Roach is fifteen, Alice is fourteen, Trysta is twelve now, Morgan is ten, and Dot is six.

"Donna, put that camera down and help." Said David Sr. as he attempted to put the bunk beds together in Morgan's room, soon to be Morgan and David Jr.'s room. In only a few short days he'd have his son back.

"Da-ad, I'm recording this for future generations!" said Donna as she zoomed in on her father's cross face. She knew he was frustrated but she needed to record everything that happened, for David Jr. and anyone else who came along. She had already missed two thirds of her brother's life, she was going to preserve the rest of it forever.

"Future generations? What's this about future generations?" said David Sr. searching for signs of life in his daughter's abdomen. Donna rolled her eyes. Honestly!

"Not like that dad, I'm not stupid." Said Donna. Just because her parents had her and David Jr. in their teens didn't mean Donna would start a family. Besides, it wasn't like guys were lining up to go out with her.

"Good. I'm thirty two, that's too young to be your father let alone a grandfather." Said David Sr. He was twice as old as her…he felt old and young at the same time. he heard someone stomping down the hall. Morgan came in sulking.

"What's wrong with you, boy?" asked David Sr. Sometimes he didn't understand his kids…like right now.

"Why do I have to share a room with him?" asked Morgan. He was weary of his brother. He had seen his brother all groggy after being cut up and at first felt sorry him…then the gears in his mind started turning. The rest of them on the other hand were weary. Sure he was alive but he could have been totally nuts from being kidnapped and tortured and all that junk.

"Because you're both boys and we only have three bedrooms." Said David Sr. He wondered what had gotten into Morgan. At first the kids were excited that their brother was back but now the girls were apprehensive and Morgan...he had no idea what had gotten into Morgan.

"Why can't we live in a bigger house?" whined Morgan. Even with bunk beds there'd still be less room for him. This place wasn't exactly big enough for his family when there were only four of them and their parents.

"Why can't you be happy that we have our brother back?" asked Donna. David Jr. almost died and Morgan's complaining that he doesn't get as much room to leave his junk everywhere. Trysta stuck her head in, nosy as always.

"I am happy that he's alive and stuff…just…but…why do I have to share my room?" asked Morgan digging his toe into the carpet. Nervously. It wasn't that he didn't like the guy…he was just weary of everything.

"Well if you're so happy that he's alive and all…why are you acting like this?" asked David Sr. through clenched teeth. He had to remind himself that Morgan was only ten…a spoiled ten. Somewhere along the lines he had made some big mistakes.

"Because…I'm the boy!" said Morgan. He was the boy and everybody loved him. Now that David Jr. was coming everyone would love him because he had a terrible life and stuff.

"And I'm the man of the house. As the man of the house I'm telling you to knock all of this off, now!" said David Sr. reaching the end of his rope. He had been trying to put these beds together all day, he didn't need this. Morgan took a step back as his dad yelled at him. Ok, maybe he was being kind of a jerk. Maybe.

"I-I just don't want so share a room with him…I don't even know him." said Morgan suddenly finding his Scooby Doo poster with mustaches drawn on everyone very interesting. David Sr. felt his anger ebb. This was going to be a big adjustment for everyone.

"Look on the bright side, you only get a roommate. When I was your age me and my little brother had to share a twin bed. In this very room, too." said David Sr. motioning to the 'No Girls Allowed' sign scratched into the door.

"When I was really little before you were born I had to share a bed with David Jr., before we moved into here." said Donna. She closed her eyes and remembered their room. Drawings on the walls, toys on the floor, she and David Jr. making a fort out of their bedding. Those were the days.

"Well that was then, this is now." Said Morgan sourly. He didn't want a roommate or a bed mate or a brother. Well, maybe he wanted a brother he never gave it much thought. He wanted a normal, not all cut up and crazy brother.

"Be grateful you only have to share a room. We were a lot poorer back then. We're still poor now but not as bad as was before." Said David Sr. thanking God that Amanda had gotten a nursing degree and he got his father's store. Things would be a lot tighter around here now, that was for sure.

"Yeah, Morgan. You should be grateful you don't have to sleep crammed into a room with Dot and Donna." Said Trysta snottily. She had to share a room with Donna and Dot her entire life and theirs was much smaller with their being three people in there and all. This room wouldn't even be getting that much smaller, they got bunk beds. Rickety bunk beds but still bunk beds.

"You should be grateful you even have a room." Said David Sr. having enough of this. His son…living in the walls. The cellar. Having his tongue cut out. Morgan knew this…what was wrong with Morgan? He should be grateful he was even alive!

"I bet David Jr. will be grateful for this room." Said Trysta. What was Morgan complaining about? So had had to have bunk beds and clear out some of his stuff, big whoop. David Jr. had to come and live with people who were, to him anyway, strangers.

"I bet David Jr. is grateful to be alive." Muttered David Sr. he remembered the small, thin form of his son on that hospital bed after those tense hours in the OR.

"Can't he be grateful in another room?" muttered Morgan under his breath.

Alice had been living in this new house for a week. It was the best week of her life. These people, her family, were perfect. They gave her all the food she wanted, never hurt her, and let her talk. She missed Roach terribly though. He was in a better place now…if such a place existed. She fought back tears and lost.

"Allie, I found some more of my old dolls you can have." Said Debbie as she entered her little sister's room. Alice was…weird…but nice weird. She liked dolls and sewing…and sitting in the yard staring at the grass.

"Thank you." Said Alice sitting up of her bed and wiping her eyes. Crying was bad. It was selfish. Bad girls were selfish. She was a bad girl.

"What are you so sad about?" asked Debbie. What was with Allie? She should have been happy not living with those crazy people.

"N-Nothing." Said Alice. Debbie wasn't an adult, she was safe. She still didn't want to show her badness to this sister person.

"C'mon, something's up." Said Debbie sitting next to Alice on the plush pink comforter. Ugh…to much pink.

"I miss my friend." Said Alice softly. She knew Roach wasn't ever coming back but she still mourned him.

"You had friends? Seriously?" asked Debbie incredulously. From what she could gather from the news those people had kept all the kids mutilated and locked in the cellar. Alice nodded.

"His name was Roach. He was my only friend and he died." Said Alice crying softly. Debbie felt uncomfortable and began to rub Alice's back.

"He's in a better place now. How'd he die?" asked Debbie regretting what she had said. Alice looked up at Debbie, tears clouding her brown doe eyes.

"Da-the man shot him the day I escaped with Fool. He's dead now." Said Alice. Debbie looked at her for a long time.

"The guy you were in the hospital with, the kid who got shot." Said Debbie. Alice nodded.

"David Cullen, Donna Cullen's little brother." Said Debbie. Donna and her had bonded of their mutal loss of siblings back in the day.

"That's his real first name and he used to talk about having a sister. How'd you know that?" asked Alice

"Because I so totally know Donna Cullen, we're sort of friends. I know for, like, a fact that he's still alive." Said Debbie. Alice looked beyond happy. She threw her arms around Debbie.

"He's alive!" said Alice in joy. He was alive…he was alive! It was a miracle! God knew he was a good person and decided to spare him.

"Yeah, his family's setting up for him to move back in." said Debbie. She and Donna had drifted in the years but were re-bonding over mutually found siblings.

"His family?" asked Alice. Roach talked about them when they were little…until Mommy made him lie down on the stove. She suspected that he had made them up…she certainly couldn't remember having another family except for Mommy and Daddy.

"Yeah, his family. He's got, like, a mom, a dad, three sisters, and a brother." Said Debbie. She had spent a lot of time there as a kid with them having a playground in their back yard and all but she grew up.

"Do they…like him?" asked Alice. Roach was a bad boy, his tongue was cut out and he got put in the cellar.

"I guess so, he's, like, their son and all." Said Debbie getting up off the bed. She motioned for Alice to follow.

"Where are we going?" asked Alice as she followed Debbie down the stairs and out the door into the big, scary world.

"I've got some people I think you should meet." Said Debbie hoping that this was a good idea. Alice held Debbie's hand tight as they left out the front door. This was too big. It was too bright. There were too many people. She wanted to go home…no she didn't.

"Texas snowball fight!" yelled Dot as she pulled a chair up to the freezer. She was sick and tired of hearing dad and Morgan fight. They weren't really fighting about anything worth wile anyway. David Jr. needed a place to sleep and Morgan had the boys room. What was the problem?!

"No Texas snowball fights." Said Donna zooming in on her with the gosh darned camera. Great, now she couldn't or else there'd be evidence. Big sisters sucked dog guts.

"You used to be fun, what happened?" asked Dot. Donna rolled her blue eyes.

"I grew up." Said Donna. Dot stuck out her tongue. Donna did the same and instantly felt bad. Poor David Jr. she sighed and there was a knock at the door. A secret no boys allowed clubhouse familiar knock…Debbie.

"I'll get it!" said Dot. Donna put the camera down and beat her to the door. Dot wasn't allowed to open the door by herself, she knew that.

"No fair, you have longer legs!" huffed Dot as she kicked the wall. Donna ignored her and opened the door. It was Debbie with a girl. The girl was wearing a pink overall dress with white tights and a white blouse. She was practically hiding behind Debbie.

"Who's there?" yelled David Sr. down the stairs. The girl jumped and buried herself into Debbie's back.

"Debbie O'Dell and a weirdo!" yelled Dot. Debbie glared at her and Donna slapped her upside the head lightly. Dot stuck out her tongue again. She was going to do that for as long as she could before David Jr. came home.

"Allie, you're not a weirdo." Said Debbie as she attempted to get Alice out from behind her back. She pulled Alice into the house. This was good for her, she needed to be social. Alice heard a man yelling, she was scared. She wanted to go back to Debbie's house.

"Can we go home?" asked Alice softly. Debbie gave an exaggerated sigh. Alice could, like, be with people now. Sure the Cullen's weren't that great but she should still be happy to be out of the house and all.

"C'mon Allie, they're totally cool. They don't bite…well except for the little one." said Debbie. Donna ran to the kitchen and got the video camera. This was Debbie's little sister, Alice.

"I'm scared." Said Alice. Debbie sat her down on the couch and Alice clung to her. Ok, Allie totally needed a shrink. Debbie had seen the Robeson's on the news and they were scary. The Cullen's, on the other hand, were the direct opposite of scary.

"You don't have any reason to be, seriously. I know these people, they're OK." Said Debbie. She got the fact that Alice was, like, totally freaked out by everything and all but the Cullen's were, like, the least scary people ever.

"I'm Donna, I'm guessing you know David Jr." said Donna getting a great shot of all of them. David had mentioned a girl named Alice when he was still half asleep from the drugs. Well, she thought he wrote Alice. Mom wouldn't take "He just got out of the operating room" for an answer.

"I-I'm Alice." Said Alice softly. She extended her hand and Donna shook it. She had long fingers like Roach, and the same eyes as him too. She felt better.

"Hi weirdo! I'm Dorothea, Louisa, Francesca, Bianca, Lonna, Rebecca, Cullen. You can call me Dot or Dottie but never Dorothea." said the little girl with the short brown hair. Alice shrunk back a bit. She didn't like loud, sudden noises.

"Dot, don't call her that." Admonished Donna. Physically Alice looked OK but Donna had no idea about her mental state. Anything could set her off.

"I'm Alice." Said Alice a little louder. Dot shook her hand. Alice looked at her; her hair was darker than Roach's but she had long fingers, small teeth, and big gums too. Alice found this girl's presence comforting.

"I'm Trysta River Cullen." Said Trysta suddenly from behind the couch. She was waiting for someone to notice her. Hanging out watching dad and Morgan fight was getting boring.

"I'm Alice, just Alice." Said Alice again. This girl was older than Dottie with longer, lighter hair in a braid. Her eyes were brown, not blue. She still looked like Roach; same smile, gums, and teeth.

"No you have a middle name, it's Joyce. Alice Joyce O'Dell." Said Debbie kicking off her gel sandals and putting her red manicured feet on their coffee table.

"Oh, OK. I'm Alice Joyce O'Dell then" Said Alice. She didn't know why people needed so many names and all, but she didn't ask. She felt better in this house because it was Roach's. He'd be living there soon, near her. Dot sat on the couch next to her, staring. It was making Alice uncomfortable.

"You're pretty." Said Dot finally. Alice smiled.

"You look nice too." said Alice taking in Dot's appearance. A pair of blue short pants and a purple shirt. Alice had noticed that girls didn't wear dresses that often outside the house, just another strange thing about the world.

"Let's be friends." Said Dot. She decided that she liked Alice, even if she was a weirdo. The kids at school called her a weirdo too, they could be weirdo's together.

"O-Ok." Said Alice. A loud thunk could be heard from above them and Alice jumped. Morgan came running downstairs.

"Donna, let's trade beds. Dad got the bunk beds all together now and I don't wanna share a room with David Jr., he's weird looking and he can't talk and I don't know him!" said Morgan not noticing Alice or Debbie.

"Boys stay in the boy's room, girls stay in the girl's room. You wanna watch about that crazy Robeson family again?" asked Donna rhetorically.

"Actually, yeah. They're neat." Said Morgan. Trysta shoved him down onto the faded brown carpeting. Trysta pulled him down with her and they began to roll around on the floor. Dot picked up the remote and began to hit him over the head with it.

"Don't mind them, that's just what they do." Said Donna. Alice didn't like fighting. It scared her so much…she wanted to go home again.

"Break it up or I'll give you kids somethin' to fight about!" said David Sr. as he came down the stairs and surveyed the scene before him. His twins and six year old fighting like savages.

"Dad, you're scaring Alice." Said Donna. David Sr. then noticed the two girls on the couch. Great, Donna had company over.

"Donna; now's not the best time to have your friends over. Maybe when David Jr. comes home and gets situated." Said David Sr. The girl he presumed was Alice looked at him like a deer in the headlights.

"Alice is David Jr.'s friend, dad. She was in the house with him." said Donna. Realized dawned on David Sr. like fleas on a dog. That poor, poor girl.

"H-Hello. I'm Alice Joyce O'Dell." Said Alice softly. She didn't know why people needed such longs names but she went with it. She extended a hand and he shook it. She had her eyes, her ears, and her tongue. That lucky, lucky girl.

"David Mathias Cullen, Jr.'s dad." Said David Sr. Alice was scared but not really. When they were little Roach always had such good things to say about his father when they were little. On the other hand he was a father and fathers were dangerous.

"We have a mom too, her names Amanda, but she's at work." Said Dot as she climbed onto Morgan's back. now they were just play fighting, Morgan was forgiven.

"So, what brings you young ladies here?" asked David Sr. So, this was the famous Alice. Jr. had asked repeatedly about Alice, even before asking what had happened. He got the feeling he was looking at his future daughter in law. Great…and the Cullen legacy of teenage marriage continued unabated.

"I just wanted Alice to, you know, meet some people and all. You guys are her friend's family and all." Said Debbie. That and Debbie was getting a little stir crazy. Alice sat up perfectly straight and watched Roach's father. He didn't act like Daddy. He hadn't hit any of his kids and even let them talk to him. They didn't seem scared of him or anything.

"Well alright then…you all have fun." Said David Sr. going to finish setting up the room. This girl was obviously nervous around them. If he stayed around her he'd ask about David Jr. and this girl was skittish around him. He had a thousand questions for her. A hundred thousand.

"He likes you." Whispered Dot to Alice. Alice nodded but she didn't quite believe it.

Roach was sitting in his hospital bed listening to his mother talk. He had stopped listening a while ago and was just watching her talk. His mother. She was his mother and she was there. He wasn't dead, the pain in his…everywhere…told him that. If he was dead this would have been heaven. He has seen his brother sisters briefly but didn't really remember it because he had just gotten up from surgery.

"Now you can imagine our shock when Dot came out a girl. The doctor swore up and down we were having a little boy and we had a name and everything all picked out. Well, we just blurted out what came to mind and it stuck. Dorothea Louisa Francesca Bianca Lonna Rebecca Cullen." Said Amanda. She was taking her break at the hospital at her son's side.

"Uh-huh." Roach nodded. Amanda reached out and held her son's hand. Roach tensed up and pulled his hand away. Roach could see she was hurt and held her hand. He didn't want to hurt her.

"I'm sorry." Said Amanda. She knew he didn't like to be touched. She knew and she still did. She just wanted to make sure he was real. This was real. A few short days ago she was mourning his past birthday and now she was there with him.

"(Mother)." Said Roach in his broken way. He made an 'Ok' symbol with his fingers and she smiled. He would have been happy to spend the rest of his life there on that bed talking to her.

"I love you, Davey, you know that." Said Amanda. This was her little boy. This skinny, broken person, was her son. For fifteen years he was right there on the other side of the city, being tortured and mutilated.

"(It's alright.)" said Roach in his broken, missing tongue way even though she couldn't understand. He reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes. He didn't want her to be upset. Why was she even sad in the first place? They were alive. Alive and free.

"I'm so sorry. Here I am going on and on about…life…while you're lying here…like this." Said Amanda. She felt terrible. At first when she had come to see him everything had just started coming out like word vomit. Now she felt terrible. The first conversation she has with her son since May 12th, 1981 and she blathers on about her other children. Roach mimed writing and Amanda handed him his notebook.

"_Don't be sorry, I'm fine. It's nice to hear about how everyone was doing. I'm glad they're Ok and all." _Wrote Roach. Actually, he wasn't glad that they were Ok. They got to live lives free and safe. He lived as a prisoner, a perfect false son for the Robeson's from the age of five until thirteen when his tongue was cut out. Then he was put in the cellar when it somehow got even worse. Daddy had cut, beat, and burn him but had never done what the other people under the stairs did to him. He felt himself getting jealous and turned his thoughts to Alice.

"It's not fair what happened to you. Being…tortured…for all these years in that house. All alone in that house…with those people." Said Amanda. She wasn't sure if she was referring to the Robeson's or the people in the cellar. The ones who were kidnapped were promptly returned to their families…the Robeson children were a different matter. Amanda had seen one of them, a boy…more of a small man really, named Messenger Robeson who had been born into the cellar.

"_I had Alice."_ Wrote Roach. He wondered what had happened to her. He knew she'd be alright, Fool would take care of her. He did his best, kept Daddy from hurting her like he hurt the girls under the stairs, and had gotten her out. She was going to be Ok. He kill anyone else who tried to hurt her.

"Alice O'Dell. I forgot about her with all the…excitement…of having you back." said Amanda. She knew it wasn't right but she was jealous of the O'Dell's. They had lost their daughter for twelve years, as long as she had Trysta, but they had gotten Alice back and un-mutilated.

"(You know her?!)" said Roach sitting up suddenly. He felt pain in his side where the doctors had taken the bullet out and put him back together. He almost knocked his IV out when he sat up but he didn't care. Alice was alright. Alice was alive. Alice was all that mattered.

"You…want to know if I know her?" asked Amanda slowly. She hated it when he tried to speak. It just reminded her of what she lost. Positives. She had to focus on the positives. He was alive. There. That was a positive.

"Yeah!" said Roach with barely contained joy. He needed to see her again. To hold her against him and feel her heart beat. To kiss her…if she'd have him.

"Well I know her family, the O'Dell's, they don't live too far from us. I could get a message from you to her if you want. She can't visit, I'm afraid. It's a media circus out there and only family is allowed to visit." Said Amanda. Media circus was the understatement of the century. This was the biggest media story of the decade…and it was only 1991! It had everything; sex, abuse, kidnapping, incest, extreme perversions, incompetence from law enforcement, likeable victims for the most part…thank God they splurged for cable so the kids had things other than network television to watch.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" said Roach. He quickly began to write down everything he had ever wanted to say to Alice into his notebook. He didn't care if his mother read it. She wasn't like the Robeson's at all. She wasn't angry with him for knowing Alice and even said she'd take a message to her from him.

"Well, you just get to writing then." Said Amanda shocked at the complete change in her son's demeanor. Before he just sort of laid there absorbing what she said but now he was…animated. Alice must have meant a lot to him. A lot.

"David Jr.?" asked Amanda. It took Roach a moment to respond to his old name. He was going to have to be David Jr. again, not Roach. Roach was a bad boy…but Roach was brave. Alice knew him as Roach now…he'd see what Alice wanted to call him and he'd work from there.

"Yeah?" said Roach liking how clearly that came out. It startled Amanda getting a clear word out of the usual gibberish. She didn't know how to ask him this or even if she should. She took in his appearance through his hospital issue pajama style T-shirt and draw string pants. He was taller now, the muscle he had was defined due to his skinniness, his face as more angular and adult, and his voice was in the process of deepening. Well, it has been ten years after all. For all that time he had existed in her mind as a five year old in overalls.

"What, exactly, is your relationship with Alice?" asked Amanda. Roach stopped his pen scratching. Relationship? She was his best friend and he loved her. If he could he would marry her and make them a house someplace nice away from all the people who would want to hurt them. Should he tell her? She wasn't anything like Mommy. She wouldn't hurt him or Alice. He remembered way back when he was just a little kid she'd never get mad at him or his sisters when they heard or saw or spoke evil.

"_She's my best friend and I love her."_ wrote Roach being entirely truthful. He couldn't lie to his mother, he loved her. Amanda felt her breath catch in her throat.

"Like a friend…?" asked Amanda. It wasn't that she disapproved of Alice O'Dell, she had never even met the girl, it was just that she wanted him to stay her little boy. She didn't need them bringing one home like she and David did all those years ago.

Roach shook his head no. He liked Fool, Messenger, Scribe, and Headbanger as friends. How he felt about Alice went far beyond that. It was going to abundantly clear in this message he was writing for her.

"My little boy's growing up." Said Amanda. Roach was happy, she wasn't mad. Amanda decided to be happy for him. Even after all that he had gone through he still found someone to love and care for. He handed her the message and she went off of her break and back to work. It took all her willpower not to read it.


	5. Sisterly Bonding

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Alice sat down on the floor of her room as she looked over the dolls Debbie had given her. They were all mostly of the same blonde woman, she must have been important. These weren't the perfect little china dolls she played with before, these were plastic and of a grown woman.

"Allie, I found some more doll junk." Said Debbie entering her room. Debbie was momentarily blinded by the sheer amount of pink which assaulted her eyes. Pink walls, pink furniture, pink bed, pink rug…Allie sure did love pink. Her parents had went to the Robeson house to get Allie her clothes and things but returned with nothing, everything had the taint of the Robeson's on it. They had, however, come back with decorating ideas. And so the pink room was born.

"Thank you." Said Alice as she was presented with another purple plastic container. This one was filled with a bunch of fruity smelling dolls closer to what she was accustomed to playing with.

"I'm not gonna be around much tomorrow so if Dot and Trysta come by to play with you like they said they would just let 'em in. Don't let anyone else in though, and don't go too far either." Said Debbie. Just because her sister was home safe and sound didn't mean that she was going to put her life on hold. Summer just started, she had lots of hanging out to do.

"Ok, Debbie." Said Alice looking up at her big sister. She decided that she liked Debbie a while ago. She was safe. So were the two people downstairs who said they were her real parents. She didn't care if it was true or not, she didn't want to go back to Mommy and Daddy. She didn't want their scary, painful love. She wanted the good, not scary, love Ronald and Mary-Ann gave her.

"Cool. So, you wanna, like, do something together like the day after tomorrow or something?" said Debbie rocking back and forth on her heal. Ok, it was totally selfish of her to be hanging out with her friends and being normal when Allie wasn't. She wasn't going to put her life on hold but she wasn't going to lock Allie out of it either.

"Like visit Roach's family again?" asked Alice. Debbie mentally smacked her palm against her forehead. She had spent the day surrounded by those kids…they were good in small doses. Donna was Ok even if she went all Mother Teresa sometimes.

"Yeah, or we could do other stuff." Said Debbie. Alice cocked her head to the side. Visit Roach? She really wanted to do that.

"Visit Roach in the hospital?" asked Alice hopefully. Debbie could see it in her little sister's eyes that she really cared about that guy. Hell, he took a bullet for her, why wouldn't Allie care about him. Debbie wished she had a guy who'd take a bullet for her even though she couldn't imagine a scenario where people would be shooting at her. Maybe if some crazy, incestuous, brother sister act kidnapped her and tried to turn her into a living doll.

"Nope, remember what Mr. Cullen said." Said Debbie. Alice got a long, hurt look on her face. It felt like someone was kicking her in the heart.

"Family only." Said Alice sadly. She wanted so badly to see him now that she knew he was alive. She needed to see him to make sure…

"Yeah, 'cause of that totally crazy media circus outside the hospital. They're building some kind of a shanty town, I heard. The mental hospital and the prison too, trying to talk to those sickos who kidnapped you. Thank God that nobody released any names besides theirs yet." Said Debbie. Allie was skittish at the best of times; she didn't want to see how her baby sister reacted to a thousand sleazy reporters shoving cameras in her face.

"When will I be able to see him?" asked Alice timidly. It was bad to want to see Roach because he was bad. So far things had been good but she didn't want to find out what set off her new-old father's headaches or her new-old mother's wrath.

"I'll take you by there, like, a few days after he gets home. I'd think that his family would want to get some time with him at some point." Said Debbie. Alice looked happy at that, her whole face lit up and she grinned from ear to ear. She caught herself and quickly tried to bring her face to some neutrality.

"Ok, spill. Is he like your boyfriend or something?" asked Debbie. All she knew about this Roach guy was that he was Donna Cullen's missing little brother, his tongue was cut out, he lived between the walls, and he saved Allie's life along with some black kid.

"Boyfriend?" asked Allie. She had heard that word used before, she had heard lots of new words on television, but she didn't know what it meant. She knew what a husband, a father, and a brother were but she didn't know what a boyfriend was.

"You know; a boyfriend? He likes you, you like him?" asked Debbie. Allie gave her a questioning look. Debbie put her hand over her mouth in shock. Alice was afraid she did something wrong.

"Me and Roach like each other because we're friends. He used to be my only friend before I became friends with you and his sisters. He had friends who lived under the stairs though but I wasn't allowed to meet them." said Alice. She had felt greedy then, when she heard Roach had other friends. She wanted more friends, with girls like her. She hated herself for envying Roach then, she at least still had a tongue.

"No, I mean like, uh…you ever kiss him?" asked Debbie sitting down on the floor next to Alice. Alice gave a panicked look as she turned red.

"Please don't tell mother and father I was bad." Said Alice softly as she looked down at the ground. It was pink. She was pink. Maybe she'd blend into her room and nobody would ever find her again. She wasn't sure what these nice people would do to her but she knew what a punishment felt like. _"It's for your own good, Alice dear…."_

"Bad? Allie, I've gone all the way they know it. You're a nun compared to me!" laughed Debbie throwing her head back. Ok, she had to do some serious deprogramming here. If kissing boys was as bad as Allie seemed to think it was then Debbie should have been six feet under by now.

"So you won't tell them?" asked Alice. She had asked about kissing once, when she was little and had seen Mommy and Daddy do it. Mommy had beat her and told her good little girls didn't think about that sort of thing. She had thought about it and then gone and done it, many times, with Roach. She wanted to do it again to. She was bad.

"No, what you and David Cullen Jr. do in the privacy of where ever is your business and your business only. Seriously though, it's not a bad thing. I've done way worse." Said Debbie thinking back to last year and the back of her new car. Good times, good times.

"You've done worse? What's worse than that and how are you still here?" whispered Alice eyeing the door like Mommy and Daddy would come bursting in at any time. Her new-old family had explained to her that they were locked in a big building with lots of other dangerous people and they would never come out again. It was funny, Mommy and Daddy locked up. She hoped that someone cut out their eyes, ears, and tongues before making them eat their own insides.

"Allie, first of all as long as you take your…vitamins in the circle case…it's no big deal. Secondly worse is anything after kissing. You know, touching and stuff." Said Debbie. Alice nodded slowly. Debbie did a little victory dance in her head. To think, he parents were going to send Allie to a shrink. Debbie could send her down the path to normalcy in no time.

"Oh, Ok." Said Alice turning pink again. She liked it when Roach touched her. There was the one time when they were kissing on her bed and Roach lied sort of on top of her and moved a lot. That felt so nice but so bad. He seemed sad after wards though but he was always sad those days.

"Good, you get it. If you wanna see him you're going to need something other than my old hand me downs." Said Debbie. Alice looked down at her dress. She didn't really like it, it was too different than what she was used to.

"You don't have to make me anything new. This is alright." Said Alice. She wanted Debbie and the rest of her family to keep on liking her. If she could find where they kept the fabric she could make herself something to wear. It wouldn't be pretty but it would at least cover part of her legs.

"Oh yeah, that crazy bitch made you all those freaky clothes." Muttered Debbie. She had seen those weird old fashioned dresses Allie had to wear. They were totally creepy. Hell, that whole house had a creepy vibe to it. To think that Messenger guy who was born under the stairs wanted to go back.

"Shh! You're speaking evil!" whispered Alice covering Debbie mouth with her hand. She liked Debbie, she didn't want anything bad to happen to her. Mommy had a way to know when evil was happening. Most of Alice was still scared of her.

"Allie, those people are miles away locked up in six by eight metal cages probably getting human booster shots from men named Honey Pie! They can't hurt you! There's no such thing as speaking evil!" said Debbie. Alice couldn't think, couldn't breathe even. Debbie smacked herself upside the head…Allie hated loud talking and was scared of pretty much everything. Maybe she did need some professional help after all.

"D-Debbie…" stuttered Alice. That was all she managed to get out. Every fiber of her being was telling her to go run and hide but her body was glued to the floor. She wished Roach was there. He could distract Mommy and Daddy away from her.

"Allie, I'm sorry. C'mon, look at me…" said Debbie. She didn't know what to do. Allie looked like she was going to throw up and pass out at the same time.

"You-you-you spoke evil." Muttered Alice. The room was getting smaller…the air was getting hotter. Mommy was trying to get her to lie on the stove like Roach had to. She was ten again. She could hear the people under the stairs through the floor boards.

"Allie, calm down…" said Debbie in her most soothing voice. She didn't know what to do. Alice was bringing her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth. Debbie debated calling her parents in. No, that would only make it worse. Allie was scared of their parents.

"It's hot but the fires of hell are hotter." Muttered Alice. The room was filled with the smell of burnt flesh and screaming. Mommy was trying to keep Roach on the stove. The body of a child was lying in the corner getting blood everywhere. _"Clean it up for God's sake!" _

"Seriously Allie, you're starting to scare me…" said Debbie. Allie was still rocking back and forth. She had a far off look in her eyes. Debbie pulled her close in an attempt to comfort her little sister. Alice began to sob.

"Bad girls burn in hell…so much blood…little girl in the oven…the smell…" Alice was there again. Mommy had cut the little girl up and cooked her in the oven for her and Daddy. She hand Roach never ate people, chicken and vegetables mostly. They didn't waste what they called the good cuts on the children.

"There was a little girl in the oven?" asked Debbie afraid of the answer. Alice could feel a warmth passing over her as the scene dissolved around her. She was back in the pink room and Debbie was holding her. Not hitting or smothering, just holding. It was nice.

"The little girl came to the house looking for her cat. Daddy invited her in and fed her something to make her sleepy. He took her into his and Mommy's room for a while. Me and Roach was curios and stood outside the door listening. We didn't know what she was being punished for…she didn't see, hear, or speak evil. Mommy came home from the store and found Daddy with the little girl. They got into a fight and Mommy stabbed the little girl. She took the body into the kitchen and punished me and Roach. He was still called David then, he was eleven and I was ten. Mommy made him lay down on the stove but he fought. She only made me clean up the little girl's blood. She cut the little girl up and cooked her for her and Daddy's dinner. Roach and I got vegetables." Said Alice shaking. Debbie suppressed the vomit building up in her throat.

"That's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard." Said Debbie. Allie…poor Allie. Life was fucked up sometimes.

"Please stop speaking evil. I don't want you to get hurt." Said Alice holding onto Debbie for dear life. Debbie just sat there. It was one thing to hear about those Robeson freaks on TV and in the sensationalist magazines. It was another to get a first-hand account from her baby sister. She had just thought that Allie had to…to what? She didn't know anymore.

"Mom and Dad would never do that to me, or you, or anyone else." Said Debbie. It was like she was seeing Allie in color for the first time or something. Before, she could write off the more insane claims like they had sex with their dog or regularly ate people as TV stations trying to get ratings. Now…a little girl in the oven...David Cullen Jr. on the stove top…just a kid…eleven…Allie must have been about ten…cooked for dinner… Allie had seen that…as a kid. No wonder she was so fucked up.

"What would they do…" asked Alice wiping the tears from her eyes. Usually Roach brought her back when she went to a bad place and she did the same for her. Debbie was an alright substitute for now but she needed Roach. She didn't know what she'd do without him.

"Sure as hell not eat anybody." Said Debbie locking identical brown eyes with her little sister. Alice nodded. She knew she could trust Debbie. She felt better already.

"Thank you." Said Alice smiling. She felt better now, Mommy and Daddy were far away in a special place for bad people and her new-old parents didn't eat people either. They got their meat from cows, pigs, and chickens.

"No problem." Said Debbie uncertainly. She almost got whiplash from how quickly her little sister's mood changed. Now Alice was smiling and looking through the dolls again. Debbie helped sort out Strawberry Shortcake and her friends for lack of anything else to do. Suddenly the door bell rang and Alice jumped up.

"Oh no…" muttered Alice and she twisted her hands in her dress. She was an idiot. Of course Mommy and Daddy would find some way to punish her. They always knew when she was bad.

"C'mon, let's see who it is." Said Debbie pulling Alice out of her painfully pink bedroom. Alice didn't want to go but she got the feeling that Debbie would protect her from whatever happened. She could run away and hide at Roach's house before Mommy and Daddy could get the chance to kill her.

"None of your kids are here, Amanda." said Mary-Ann rubbing her eyes. She and Ronald had been pouring over psychology books and books of psychologists to help their little Allie. They couldn't just pick any old person out of the yellow pages, he had to be good. They also had to find out some information about Allie's mental state and possible treatments. If you didn't shop for a car without doing research you certainly wouldn't shop for your child's psychologist will-nilly either.

"I'm not looking for them. I actually have something from my son to your daughter." Said Amanda holding out the novel her son had written. She had only read the first sentence, figuring that a note which started with "I love you Alice and I almost died for you" was none of her business.

"I know Allie came by your house earlier. Whatever Morgan has to say can't wait until morning." Said Mary-Ann being uncharacteristically snappish. She needed to get back to her very important work before bed.

"I know she did too, it's all my kids will talk about. This is from my older son, David Jr., to Alice." Said Amanda. She was tired and her feet hurt. She wanted to go home and get the full recap of Alice's visit from her kids, she only got so much time on the phone at work.

"Roach sent me something?" asked Alice from on the stairs. Mary-Ann and Amanda turned their heads to find Alice and Debbie sitting on the stairs watching them. Debbie grabbed her hand and pulled her over towards Amanda.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen, this is my little sister Allie." Said Debbie using her best manners. Alice looked down at everyone's shoes, sparing occasional glances to Roach's mother. She looked younger than her new-old mother. Roach got his hair color from her and the shape of his eyes.

"Please, come in." said Mary-Ann in a much more agreeable tone. Ronald tore himself away from his books to see what was going on. Alice grabbed Debbie's hand as her father entered the room.

"Oh no, I can't stay or anything. It's late and I just came off a shift. I just came by to drop off a, well it was supposed to be a note but it turned into a novel, from my son David Jr. Alice calls him Roach…" said Amanda. Ronald looked at Mary-Ann who mouthed the words "boyfriend" and "cellar".

"T-thank you, Mrs. Cullen." Said Alice as she took the folded up papers from Roach's mother. It was a lot of papers and Roach wrote on both sides. Alice allowed herself a small smile. Alice's parents beamed at the happiness radiating from their little girl. If this boy made her happy then they'd do anything to keep them together. He had taken a bullet for her, after all.

"You're welcome, Alice. Goodnight, everybody." Said Amanda as she walked down their stairs and back to her old car. Alice clutched those papers to her chest like she had found the Holy Grail. Ronald and Mary-Ann exchanged a series of looks and gestures. Debbie rolled her eyes. Yup, embarrassing parents were definitely a step up from cabalistic, animal sexing, child abusers.

"You can go read those in the privacy of your room. We won't invade your privacy." Said Amanda in a slow, calming voice like she was talking to a wild animal. Alice looked up at her new-old mother and nodded.

"If you want to talk to us you can. Remember, you are a valid human being. What you have to say, do, and offer is valid." Said Ronald. The book had said to reassure her that she was a valid human being and he'd do that every moment of every day until she believed that.

"Ok, Dad, that's really great. C'mon Allie." Said Debbie leading Alice back upstairs. Honestly, like that psychobabble would really help. Alice allowed herself to be dragged up to her room. She clutched the very, very long message from Roach to her chest.

"Ok, read it! C'mon Allie!" said Debbie sitting down on Allie's pink bed in her sickeningly pink room. Alice sat down on her bed and looked down at her and Debbie's feet. Debbie colored her toes a sparkly red. It was pretty, even if red was a bad girl color.

"Um…Ok." Said Alice. She didn't want to read it and she did at the same time. She knew it made no sense but somehow reading it would make it more or less real. She unfolded the letter, wow Roach wrote really small too.

"_Dear Alice,_

_I love you and I would die for you. I almost died for you, you know. Not to make you feel bad or anything, I just needed to get that off my chest. I do love you though, I really love you. In the, I want to marry you sense, not the brother/sister sense. Because that would be wrong. Brothers and sisters aren't supposed to feel like that about each other no matter what Mommy and Daddy think. Oh, by the way Mommy and Daddy were really brother and sister. Their real names are Eldon and Elmira Robeson. I wouldn't lie to you, you know that." _Started Alice before looking up startled.

"What's up?" said Debbie still shocked by the beginning of that. Wow, well he certainly made himself clear.

"Mommy and Daddy are really brother and sister?" asked Alice. Sure, she had heard that on the TV and from her new-old parents but it was different coming from Roach. Roach did write this, it was his messy handwriting.

"Like, yeah. Allie everyone in the whole world knows that now. It's all over the news and the TV and stuff." Said Debbie. Sure they lied about stuff on TV all the time but that was so insane it had to be true.

"It feels different hearing it from Roach. Almost like it's more real." Said Alice

"Yeah, I get it. It's so crazy at first you don't really believe it but then it sinks in. Good thing your boyfriend knows that's nuts though…some of the other people from under the stairs…ick…" trailed Debbie. She had seen clips of them. The ones who had been in the cellar longest, the Robeson children, were completely insane and were locked up in North Mercy Mental Hospital probably for the rest of their lives. The one guy, Messenger or something, was born down there and lived with his grandmother, Eloise Robeson who had somehow escaped and made a life for herself. It was like something out of a daytime soap mixed with a horror movie.

"Roach said that he made sure they'd all stay away from me because their all crazy. Even his friends were crazy." Said Alice. She had always imagined them as kids like her and Roach, only missing their bad parts and locked away for their own good. She didn't like Roach telling her about them and he didn't like to tell her.

"Makes sense, keep reading." Said Debbie. Allie could kick her out whenever she wanted to and Debbie hoped that she didn't. This was just getting good.

_I would also never do anything to hurt you. I hid you in the walls for your own protection. I made you leave for your own good. Only because I thought my death was imminent. You don't want to know what would have happened to you, what Daddy would have done to you, if I wasn't there. Believe me, I know. Don't ask me how I know or what happened because I won't tell you. Don't ask Messenger Robeson either because if you do manage to talk to him he'll tell you things about my life that I honestly don't want you to know about. Just know that I would never, ever hurt you like that._

"Whoa…poor guy…" said Debbie reading between the lines. That poor, poor kid. What was he? Fourteen, fifteen?

"What do you mean?" asked Alice. She had no idea what so ever what Roach was talking about there but it must have been bad. She felt lucky and also sad. Roach had protected her but at a cost to himself.

"You have no idea…? Allie…you're better off not knowing." Said Debbie. She didn't want to explain rape and molestation to Allie. One freak out a night was enough.

"If everyone says so then I guess it is. I don't want to make you speak evil." Said Alice. She wanted to pull Roach close to her and kiss him until he was better. He always looked so happy when they kissed, almost like he did before.

"Allie there's no such thing as…just keep reading." Said Debbie. She wasn't going to start that again, not tonight anyway.

"_Ok, don't ever ask me about that, ever. This is like how we don't talk about when Eldon cut out my tongue out. Got it? Good. Are you alright? Are you eating enough? Are you allowed to go outside? Did you like meeting my brother and sisters? Did they treat you alright? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Are they treated alright? Do the people treat you good? Do they hurt you? I'll kill anyone who hurts you and then I'll hide you at my house until we're old enough to get married. We could get married now, my parents got married at our ages, but that's because they made Donna. She's my older sister. I'm not opposed to the idea of making a baby with you if you really want one but I don't think it would be a good idea if we made a baby because we don't know how to take care of one. There's also the physical act to it…we'll cross that bridge whenever you decide that you want a baby. I think I'd like to have a son. I'd call him David Jr. like me and my father before me and his father before him. It's a thing we do in my family. There's this girl we had in the cellar, Headbanger, she's got a baby coming. I hope it's Ok. I hope she's Ok. Not that I love her or anything, she's just a friend. I love you though."_

"Allie, don't make a baby with him. That's pretty much the stupidest thing you could possibly do right now." Said Debbie in her most serious voice. Alice looked at Debbie curiously. She thought babies came from God.

"Where do babies come from? How do people make them? Is it like making a doll?" asked Alice. She pictured a big shiny kitchen, like the hospital she had been in. inside there were doctors in their white coats sewing body parts together to make those little people called babies. She had baby dolls when she lived in the house but she had never seen one in person.

"Uh…it has to do with kissing. Well, what comes after that…" asked Debbie. She didn't want to have this conversation with Allie. She'd give Allie advice when it did start to happen for her but she couldn't just start out cold. It was too…too.

"Touching you mean?" asked Alice. She loved it when Roach touched her, especially when they kissed. She felt bad, she wanted him to do it again. She felt bad even though Debbie had said there was nothing wrong with it. Maybe she'd feel better if Roach told her.

"Uh, yeah…it's not like making a doll. More…complicated. Kinda messy…very fun…let's talk about this later." said Debbie. Alice wanted to ask her again and again until she was told everything. Now she was curious. She'd ask Roach, he didn't say he was opposed to the idea of making a baby with her.

"_I know I've said it a lot but I do. You know, it's the one thing I regret about not having so much of my tongue. I can't say the three most important words I could ever say to you. I love you more than anything else in the world. More than myself, more than anyone else. I live for you. I'd die for you. You are what makes life worth living. You are what made me get up in the morning and live another day in that hell. You're the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful human being I have ever known. Your hair is so long and soft I wish I could lay next to you and run my fingers through it all day. You skin is so soft, I want to kiss every inch of you. Your eyes are brown like hot chocolate, I like hot chocolate. My mother makes good hot chocolate, or at least she did when I was a kid. Maybe she'll make you some, she says you live near me and she knows your family. Ok, I went a little off subject there. My mother is sitting next to me watching me write this. Ok, the point is that I love every single thing about you. Well, I hate how you fear, how you hurt, and how you suffer. If I could I'd keep you with me forever so you never have to suffer again. I'd spend the rest of my life with you if you'd have me."_

"That's…something." Said Debbie. That didn't sound healthy. Romantic, but unhealthy. Part of her wished she had a guy say that to her but another part told her that the only reason he felt like that was because Allie was, literally, the only other girl he knew for such a long time.

"Isn't it?" asked Alice with a small on her face. She'd like that, spending her entire life with Roach. He'd keep her safe and she'd keep him fed and warm. They'd lay together in bed all night and kiss and talk and stuff. They'd have lots of children and not hurt or kill any of them no matter how much evil they spoke or heard or saw.

"Yeah, keep reading." Said Debbie quickly. If anyone needed a shrink, it was David Cullen Jr. Being in love was one thing, proposing marriage was another. He did almost die for her after all…he took bullets and beatings and now apparently rapes for her.

"_I want to be with you for the rest of my life and the next. I can't imagine existing without you. I exist with and for you. All that I have done in my life I have done for you. You deserve better than me. You deserve someone who will protect you better. You deserve someone who doesn't get you punished. You deserve someone who can provide for you. You deserve someone who can actually tell you they love you. You deserve someone else and if you don't want me I understand. It hurts but I understand._

"That's not healthy." Muttered Debbie. He saved Allie's life and now he's going on about how he's not good enough for her. That was no way to win a girl.

"It feels like someone kicked me in the chest." Said Alice as she read what Roach wrote. She loved him too…she did too deserve him. He was the best boy to ever live. He protected her, he lived for her. He had been the only person to show her any love and kindness, real love not Mommy and Daddy's scary love, in her entire remembered life.

"What do you mean?" asked Debbie. She didn't look physically hurt. There were tears forming in her little sister's eyes.

"Why would Roach say something like that? Of course I deserve him. I-I-I love him too. I've never felt like that about anyone before so he must be special. He saved my life. He saved a lot of people's lives. Well, Fool helped." Said Alice.

"Fool? Oh, right, that little black kid you guys escaped with. Anyway, Allie, I think he has some problems he has to work out." Said Debbie. Alice gave Debbie a questioning look. They were away from Daddy and would never be going back. What other problems were there?

"Problems? But we're away from Mo-Elmira and Eldon, what else is there?" asked Alice. Debbie took a deep, calming breath.

"Allie, his tongue is cut out and he lived between the walls. Before that he was horrifically tortured and abused. Do you really think he's Ok?" asked Debbie. Realization dawned on Alice. Roach put on such a brave face for her sometimes she thought he was Ok. Oh, Roach…

"Oh. I get it. So Roach says that because he feels bad because of what happened to him?" said Alice

"Yeah, kind of…keep reading." Said Debbie. She wasn't a shrink, there were probably all kinds of technical words for what was wrong with that guy and she didn't know any of them.

"_If you do chose to spend the rest of your life with me I'll make you so happy. I'll take good care of you. I'll take better care of you than any man ever has for his wife. I'll provide you with a house, money, children, and love. My mother says that's what a husband must provide and I'll do just that. You gave have the biggest house with a room full of money and children and all the love you'll ever need. Wow, I just describe the Robeson house. Ok, no room full of money or children. And we won't steal any of our children. And we won't hurt, cut, or kill any of our children. But I'll still love you. I'll tell you, in the best way that I can with the fact that my tongue is cut out and all, every day a thousand times a day that I love you. I would never hurt you. Ever. I'd treat you like my father treats my mother. From what I can remember they never, ever, hit each other or me and my sisters. Donna's a year older than me and Trysta is three years younger. Morgan and Dot weren't born yet. Morgan was still inside of my mom's stomach and Dot was born in 1985. It's 1991 now, by that way. I know Mommy and Daddy never let us look at the calendar. My mother says that it was so we didn't get any sense of time in the house. So it would feel like we spent our whole lives in there. We didn't. When I was born my family lived in my father's parent's attic. When I was little we moved out briefly, before Trysta was born, into a room above a twenty four hour bowling alley. Trysta started to grow in my mom's stomach and then we moved back in with my father's parents. They left when I was five to live in Florida, that's another state. There are fifty states in America and we live in New Jersey. Florida is down south and very warm and rainy. Anyway, we moved there in 1979 when Trysta was born and I lived there until 1981, when I got stolen. I don't really remember much before we move back into the house. I remember it was small though, very small. _

"Hey Debbie, how did I get stolen?" asked Alice suddenly. She knew that Mo-Elmira stole her but she didn't remember it, being two and all.

"So, you've been living here a week and you, like, finally want to know?" asked Debbie. If she were Allie the first words out of her mouth after "Who are you people?" and "Please, for the love of God, get me something actual people would want to wear." would have been "Who the fuck is the moron who lost me in the first place?"

"We were at the store with Mom. It was busy then, being in the evening when everyone's trying to do their shopping. I was four and screaming about how I wanted the cereal with the toy inside. Mom put you down to stop me from throwing stuff around and you were just gone. I'm sorry." Said Debbie.

"Did you look for me?" asked Alice. She wasn't sure how to feel. She felt bad feelings about Debbie forming inside of her. She pushed them out as soon as they formed. Debbie was her big sister and the third friend she ever had.

"We all did, for years. After a while the police stopped though…something about the chances of finding you alive being slim to non. You know something?" said Debbie

"What?" asked Alice

"I get why people would think that the Robeson's bribed the cops. This isn't a very nice neighborhood, it's not the ghetto but it isn't nice either. Mom and Dad bought this house before they were big shots with the money they have now. They only stayed because this is where we lived with you. The Robeson's, they were slum lords-" said Debbie before Alice cut her off.

"Slum lords?" asked Alice. She knew that Eldon and Elmira made people leave their homes so that they could build houses for the clean people to live. They owned Fool's home, he called it the ghetto.

"They owned most of the ghetto, that's the really bad neighborhood where the very poor live, and also some places around here. The kids who went missing lived either around here or in the ghetto." Said Debbie. She could see the wheel's in Alice head turning.

"Fool said that he needed to steal gold coins to have enough money to pay for his home and his Mother's operation. He was going to steal from Mo-Elmira and Eldon and then give it back to them because they owned his home. That's not really stealing then, is it? Fool's smart like that I guess." Said Alice missing her other friend. Though she only knew him for a day he would always be her second friend and savior.

"Heh, clever kid. I wonder where he's living now that the government seized all their assets. That means that they took all their property and money and stuff." Said Debbie

"I hope Fool's Ok." Said Alice softly. Debbie gave her a one armed hug.

"He's probably fine, kid like that. He survived in the house didn't he? He'll survive out there. Keep reading." Said Debbie trying to reassure her little sister. Lord, Allie didn't need any more things to worry about.

"_I worry about you a lot. Please tell me you're alright. My mother is swearing up and down, left and right, that your parents are good people and don't do what Eldon and Elmira did. People swore that the Robeson's were good people too and look where that got them. They're going to be locked up for the rest of their lives if not executed for what they did. My mother says that their lawyers, professional arguers, are trying to make a deal with the judge, professional rule enforcer, to get a lighter sentence if they pay money to everyone they hurt. According to my mother when the law is done with them they'll either be very old or very death. There's no covering up this one. Daddy went crazy when he saw all the cops surrounding the house that he put on his hunting me suit and tried to kill them. I hope Mommy and Daddy burn in hell for what they did. They're the bad ones, not us. I wasn't bad when I tried calling for help and you just plain are never bad. Not when you beg for mercy. Not when you talk to me. Not when you sneak me food. Not even when you kiss me. My mother says that there's nothing wrong with that and some other stuff that I'll have to get back to you on. Do you know the first thing I'm going to do the next time we're alone together? I'm going to kiss you, that is ,if you let me. I'm going to kiss you and kiss you until we're sick of it. I'm going to do that thing you like where I move your hair away from your neck then I-"_

"You can skip that part, way too private." Said Debbie quickly. The last thing she wanted to hear about were the intimate details of her little sister's make-out habits. How did they make-out if his tongue was cut out? Great, now she was curious. That was a conversation for another day.

"Thank you." Said Alice gratefully. She skimmed over what Roach had written next. Yes, she liked it when kissed her neck and ran his hands down her sides, across her chest, down…wow, Roach got really graphic there. Just because she liked these things didn't mean she was going to share them with Debbie. Debbie said it wasn't bad and Roach had said, or rather wrote, so too. Just because it wasn't a bad thing didn't make it Debbie's business. Wow, she could keep her business private now. If Mommy had asked her directly if she and Roach had ever done any of the things they did Alice would have to tell the truth, good girls never lied, and she would have been killed. Roach would have been killed too.

"Don't mention it. Keep reading but skip any more parts like that. Seriously, that's none of my business." Said Debbie ending that with a silent 'yet'. Alice nodded and turned the page. Her eyes skimmed down. Wow, she had no idea Roach gave so much thought to the feel of her lips or the taste of her skin. She didn't even know Roach could taste so well. Or maybe he was being poetic. Either way it was nice.

"_I hope you didn't make a doll for me, seeing as how I'm still alive. When I do die, and I hope it's not any time soon, I don't want you to make a doll to hold my soul. I want to go on to that next place, up in the sky. When you die there won't be anybody to make a doll for you and you'll pass on. I want us to go there together into that big, blue abyss. At least I think it's blue because the sky is blue. It's like in my dreams, where we're out there running so fast and free that nobody can catch us, not even God. I used to dream the impossible. Now I dream about us, and I dream a lot too, this place makes me sleepy, I dream about you and me together. I dream about you and me with my family just being. I dream about our own family…if you want us to have one. I also dream of death. Not ours, just one's I've seen. I'm going to tell you something now which will probably upset you. The people under the stairs at people. The older ones that is. I ate rats and stole what I could from the house, I'm not lying to you. Eating people makes you crazy. I can think of several people, not just Mommy and Daddy, that are examples of that. Messenger Robeson hasn't eaten people in years. He's about thirty years old and was born in the cellar, his teeth also mostly rotted out so he eats mostly what he can steal from upstairs and pre-chewed rats. You've seen him, the red haired boy wearing the blanket who walks around the house when Mommy and Daddy are away. He's harmless for the most part. Don't ever touch him without warning though. He's a friend. So is Scribe. He's like Fool, someone who found his way into the house not as a son. The thing between the walls before me, it's a title, helped him into the cellar. He keeps their records and is under the stairs married to a girl names Molly. He under the stairs name is Singer, I'm not allowed to call her Molly because she's not my wife and you can't call her Singer because you were never in the cellar. Just a little etiquette lesson there._

"Wow, cannibals have an etiquette. Good to know he never ate people." Said Debbie. She had been wondering about that and she believe him when he said he never at people. The alternative was to much for her to process.

"Y-Yeah." Said Alice. Debbie stared at her little sister. Alice was white as a ghost.

"Something on your mind?" asked Debbie. She wondered why she asked questions to which she didn't want to know the answers.

"I-I'm glad Roach never ate people but I never thought that the people under the stairs…there were girls down there…I've seen Messenger before…he was born down there…" said Alice taking shaky breaths. She knew that they got flashlights and food of some kind and she had assumed that they were happy in their own way. Messenger never did anything wrong…he was only a baby…well not anymore obviously.

"Like, pick a sentence and go with it." Said Debbie trying to make light of the situation. This thing with the people under the stairs…this was too much. Too disturbing. It didn't do any good to think too hard about it.

"Would I have ended up in the cellar or would they have killed me? If I had ended up in the cellar would I have had a baby? Would it be like Messenger. I've seen him a few times. He's small with red hair and wears a filthy blanket. He smells worse than Roach ever did, but Roach took showers whenever he could. He saw me and he said "Hi." I ran away. Nothing of his is cut out but his eyes scare me. His body scares me too. He has lots of cuts but they're done like in a pattern. Roach has some like that too, but I'm not supposed to know about those." Said Alice knotting her hands in her soft, pink bedspread.

"I don't think you should ask questions that you don't want to know the answers to." Said Debbie after a few moments thought. She realized how close she had come to losing her sister. How precarious the situation had been. What if Fool had come a day later, or earlier? What if they had never robbed the Robeson's at all? Where would that leave Alice?

"…I'll keep reading." Said Alice. That was good advice. Very good advice.

"_There's another girl there too. Her name is Anita but her under the stairs name is Headbanger. She's pregnant, we think anyway, I haven't heard from her in a while. She's at the mental hospital and I'm at the regular hospital. I'm going to be Ok, they say. I'm getting patched up and should be out in about a week. I can't wait to see you and my family. I love them, I think. Sometimes I have bad thoughts like why did my mother lose me and why did they have Dot. Dot was supposed to be a boy, they were trying to replace me. They were trying to get a new, better son. Why's she so much better than me? Why did all of them get to live? Why did I have to spend ten years, two thirds of my life, in that house? When I think about all the time I lost I get this dull pain in my chest. Emotionally, not physically. I'm in some physical pain too. Bullet wounds, old cuts, badly healed broken bones, this thing in my arm that delivers medicine straight into my bloodstream, it all hurts. Not as much as before. I didn't show it but I always had some kind of injury before. Don't feel bad. You made me feel better by simply being. Do you ever feel bad about what happened? It's alright if you do, there's no such thing as thinking evil after all. If I were you I would, you were in the house for longer than me and you didn't even remember your real family. I'm not going to start the whole who had it worse pissing contest because we'll both lose out to Messenger. Now there is a man who's life had been one big pile of suck. _

"I do feel bad for Roach, I do. I should have done something to help him." Said Alice suddenly

"What could you have done for him? Seriously Allie, what could you have possibly done?" asked Debbie running her hands through her long hair in exasperation. Honestly, a person doesn't itemize every ache and pain they're having and then say "Hey, don't worry about it."

"He knew how to escape." Said Alice softly. Debbie cleaned her ears sure that she had misheard her baby sister.

"So, he knew how to escape this whole time and he did nothing? And you love him?" asked Debbie in a low, controlled voice as not to scare Alice.

"Not the whole time. You see, either Mommy or Daddy were always home when I was little. Daddy started having problems at work and he'd get his headaches. Mommy had to go and calm him down before he killed someone. Then me and Roach would…spend time together…and he'd explore around the house a lot. He figured out the password for the doors. I didn't want to leave because I was afraid…" said Alice softly. She was scare of the big, bad, sinful world. At the time she thought that the world had to be worse than living with Mommy and Daddy; after all they were protecting her from it.

"He stayed in that house with you knowing full well how to get out?" asked Debbie slowly. Alice nodded.

"If I had left he would have been safe a while ago. I was scared…it was so big…I didn't know what was out there…Mommy and Daddy said that they were keeping me safe…" said Alice crying a little now. She had almost gotten Roach killed. She had made him suffer.

"Allie, you're just a kid." Said Debbie holding her little sister close. Alice pulled away and looked over at her. She knew she was a kid, what did that have to do with anything?

"I know." said Alice. Debbie shook her head. Allie most certainly didn't know she was a kid. She may have acted like an eight year old playing with dolls and stuff like that but she put the weight of the world on her shoulders like an adult.

"No, you don't. Of course you were afraid of the world, who wouldn't have been in your situation? I can think of lots of people off the top of my head who should have saved you. That doesn't include a thirteen year old boy and a mute, possibly nuts, fifteen year old boy." Said Debbie

"Hey, Roach isn't nuts…not that nuts anyway…he could be worse…" said Alice softly. Debbie gave her a long look. They were not having that conversation again.

"You know he can't possibly be Ok and your love won't heal all wounds. That's just in movies and bad romance novels. There's nothing you could have done to make it any better for him." Said Debbie. Alice nodded again. She looked up at Debbie like she was speaking great wisdom from the ages.

"So…it's not my fault even if I could have saved us?" asked Alice. She wanted to believe Debbie, she really did. Debbie wouldn't lie to her…she wouldn't…

"No, you were just a kid. Besides, if you had tried and failed to escape those people would have killed you." Said Debbie. Alice nodded and threw her arms around Debbie like she used to with Mommy. Before she got older and Mommy go madder and madder. Hugging Debbie didn't feel like hugging Mommy. Debbie was warm. She hugged back.

"I love you, Debbie. You're the best sister I've ever had." Said Alice. She needed someone she trusted, and she did trust Debbie, to tell her it was alright. She didn't make Roach suffer. It wasn't her fault.

"I'm your only sister but the feeling is mutual. Let's finish this thing, it's getting late." Said Debbie. Alice smiled and nodded.

"_He doesn't see his life as being so bad; he probably wants to go home now, though. Poor Messenger, it's the only home he's ever known. Do you ever miss it, the house I mean. We had some bad times, some horrible times, some unbearable times, but we had some good times. When we were alone together. You were the only good thing in that house. Don't ever believe otherwise. Now that we're free we can have all kinds of good times. We never, ever have to go back. No more beatings, no more dead people, no more fear. We can finally breath, we can finally live. We can be together. Well, we can't live together yet but we will someday when we get older. Wherever you want to live. I'd do anything for you. When I get out of here you can visit me whenever you can and I'll visit you whenever I can. We can find out where Fool lives and visit him. Wait, he probably moved. I gave him some gold coins, from Daddy's secret collection that he had the people under the stairs guarded. I have to stop writing soon, my mother has to get back to work because her break is almost over. She's a nurse, she makes people better. Here's some questions for you: How is your life? Are you happy? Be honest. Do you have lots of dolls to play with? Do you have lots of fabric for sewing? Are you as beautiful as I remember you? Do you miss me? Do you love me too? More later, gotta go now._

_Love, _

_David Mathias Cullen (Roach)_

"We get it, he loves you." Said Debbie. She wished she had a guy who told her he loved her; and almost died for her. Alice clutched that note to her chest and smiled.

"He loves me." Whispered Alice. She felt…warm. She couldn't stop smiling. He said it so many times it had to be true.

"Yeah, he said that a bunch of times." Said Debbie. She was struck by how…normal…Alice looked there. Just a normal fourteen year old girl gushing about her boyfriend. Her mutilated, tongueless boyfriend. First base was going to be interesting to say the least.

"And it's not bad that I love him and he's not bad for loving me. I'm not, right?" said Alice. Debbie rolled her eyes.

"Allie if you're bad for kissing him, probably not even seriously kissing him, then I'm Satan." Said Debbie. Alice looked alarmed for a moment. Debbie gave her that look again. Oh, it was a joke. She laughed a little. Not a very funny one.

"How do you seriously kiss someone?" asked Alice. Debbie sat up straighter and put on her best "I'm older and wiser than you" voice.

"You hold each other and kiss for a long time, with open mouths. Trust me, it's not as gross as it sounds." Said Debbie. Alice shrugged her shoulders. She and Roach kissed for a while, and he held her, but they never opened their mouths. Roach probably didn't want to because he was missing so much of his tongue. He knew more about this stuff then she did.

"Roach wouldn't want to do that, his tongue's cut out." Said Alice. Debbie laughed but then stopped suddenly. This was a very serious conversation.

"When you touch tongues that's French kissing and also not as gross as it would be. Just make sure that both of you brush your teeth before you…you know. You should write him back and ask him how he feels. He probably will want to, he is a guy after all." said Debbie. Alice looked at Debbie with her full attention. Now she was curious, she'd have to ask Roach about that.

"I'll write him back right now. Can I borrow some paper?" asked Alice. Debbie got up and went over to Alice's pink desk.

"You should really look through your stuff better. See, you have stationary in this box." Said Debbie. She pulled a large box from the bottom drawer of Alice's desk.

"From the desk of Alice J. O'Dell." Read Alice. This was hers, really hers. Reading that seemed to make the room feel like hers. It had her name on it. It was her desk. She was Alice O'Dell, not Alice Robeson. This was her room. This was her house. These people were her family. Roach was hers.

"You should write it tonight before bed and give it to his sister's when they come by tomorrow. I gotta get started on my summer reading, don't want to get held back again. Goodnight." Said Debbie giving her little sister some space. She didn't really want to start on her reading, school had only been out for a few weeks, but she wanted to give Alice some privacy to write her weird but devoted boyfriend.

"Goodnight." Said Alice. Debbie left her room and closed the door behind her. She got a cold feeling when the door closed, like she was locked in again. Warm thoughts of Roach chased those dark feelings away. She changed into a long, pink nightgown and sat in her bed. Her room was filled with the sounds of pen scratching as she poured her heart out onto the pink paper with the pink pen.


End file.
